2 of my kids have the flu.......even though we all had flu shots. They probably have that pig disease I've been hearing about (lol). They just have fevers and feel crappy. I've been out of work all week due to illnesses including my own stomach bug at the end of last week. Hopefully, we can get all our "oinks" out of us before Thanksgiving and Maddie's play next weekend.
Just food for thought..........did you ever wonder if you can get transmit sickness from licking an envelope? I mean..........isn't it kind of gross to think that most people lick their envelopes and we then open them with our hands? I never really thought about that before yesterday. Hmmm.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Before & After THR Pics
5 months after THR Nov 9, 2009 (please ignore the lovely stretch marks)
June 5, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
hip update........
I haven't posted in quite sometime....and I apologize for not updating those hip friends of mine. For those weary of THR ......... as I was.....in the end, it's the best thing you can do for yourself if you have neverending hip pain. I am now out of physical therapy 3 weeks! I worked DAMN hard and am proud of it too. I have been completely pain-free for over a month and half. It's as if a fairy came down....waved her magic wand and everything was better. I have no limp and my scar is fading. It's still long and very apparent, but that will always be.
My journey has just begun.........while I hope for the best and that my new hip will last a lifetime, I have to be realistic that many things can happen over time. It may wear out or I may fall and hurt myself. For now, all is well and I do not think of my hip often. I am not reminded with each step that something is wrong. I walk like I did when I was a kid...............and that is truly a miracle!
My journey has just begun.........while I hope for the best and that my new hip will last a lifetime, I have to be realistic that many things can happen over time. It may wear out or I may fall and hurt myself. For now, all is well and I do not think of my hip often. I am not reminded with each step that something is wrong. I walk like I did when I was a kid...............and that is truly a miracle!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Starting to cave in!
Yippee....heard some great news today that Obama is going to drop the "public" option which makes me very happy! If that were to happen.....companies would drop their private care and go public...thus leaving all the private insurance companies for only the very rich or go out of business entirely. It would have been a disaster to our country in every way possible.
His poll numbers were sliding.....so of course to save face, he had to do something. At least G.W. Bush held to his principles even when it wasn't popular to do so. I guess Obama really didn't believe in his healthcare plan in the first place if he's so willing to just drop it when his polls go down. Once again.........this just shows you the pathetic and manipulative man he is. Not surprising in the least I must say.
His poll numbers were sliding.....so of course to save face, he had to do something. At least G.W. Bush held to his principles even when it wasn't popular to do so. I guess Obama really didn't believe in his healthcare plan in the first place if he's so willing to just drop it when his polls go down. Once again.........this just shows you the pathetic and manipulative man he is. Not surprising in the least I must say.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
No new hips for old people?
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601070&sid=aGrKbfWkzTqc
This is something Obama wants in his plan...............to avoid procedures for the elderly including hip replacements. I don't know the situation with his grandmother and why they would give her one in her last few weeks of life, but we are going to allow this man to dictate who gets one and who doesn't? This is insane! I am 37 years old and just had a hip replacement. May god strike Obama down if my rights are taken away from me when I am older and my other hip fails or a I need another one in 20 years. What if I am diagnosed with terminal cancer........am I supposed to walk around in pain for 2 years or whatever my time was?
This is just another dictation of the biggest dictator America has ever known running this country. Telling the American doctor and patient what procedures can be done and when. We have enough of that with private healthcare. Although I have Blue Cross and for the most part......very happy with my HMO. They don't question my doctors orders. I've had 3 MRI's in 3 years, cat scans, 2 hip surgeries........the list goes on. I cost the healthcare system a lot of money. However, I get good and decent healthcare and I want it to stay that way.
We'll pay 'cash' for clunkers, but we won't 'cash' for new hips for old fogies? I guess cars are worth more than the elderly.
This is something Obama wants in his plan...............to avoid procedures for the elderly including hip replacements. I don't know the situation with his grandmother and why they would give her one in her last few weeks of life, but we are going to allow this man to dictate who gets one and who doesn't? This is insane! I am 37 years old and just had a hip replacement. May god strike Obama down if my rights are taken away from me when I am older and my other hip fails or a I need another one in 20 years. What if I am diagnosed with terminal cancer........am I supposed to walk around in pain for 2 years or whatever my time was?
This is just another dictation of the biggest dictator America has ever known running this country. Telling the American doctor and patient what procedures can be done and when. We have enough of that with private healthcare. Although I have Blue Cross and for the most part......very happy with my HMO. They don't question my doctors orders. I've had 3 MRI's in 3 years, cat scans, 2 hip surgeries........the list goes on. I cost the healthcare system a lot of money. However, I get good and decent healthcare and I want it to stay that way.
We'll pay 'cash' for clunkers, but we won't 'cash' for new hips for old fogies? I guess cars are worth more than the elderly.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
What can I do?
This is a question that has been on mind for some time now. As I sit back and watch the country being taken over by the most greedy, socialist, self-righteous and illegitimate president that I ever witnessed........I wonder.........what can I do? I'm just a wife, a mom of 5 kids, a teacher..........I am really just ONE person in a world filled with all different views, ideas and people. What can I do?
So, I asked myself this question and then it came to me..............do nothing. Sit back and watch this fool make a jackass out of himself. He is dying a slow death. I think the downfall of this president is what this country needs to get back on track........to see things the RIGHT way.....to take back our country and get rid of this cult-like liberal mindset our mainstream media has put out there for the generic and naive public to take in. Only then will things get changed. A new president (a Republican hopefully or at least a moderate democrat) to fix what Obama has made a mockery of. This is shameful America. Wake up! We can do some small things to make some change....... Blog about him......have debates with your liberal friends......vote for republicans in your local offices.........don't allow anyone to change your views because it's popular to do so. As Glenn Beck says......ask questions, get to know the key players and educate yourself on what is going on in this crazy world right now. Only then can we see clearly what needs to be done......but in the mean time, I just hope we don't all go down in flames with him.
So, I asked myself this question and then it came to me..............do nothing. Sit back and watch this fool make a jackass out of himself. He is dying a slow death. I think the downfall of this president is what this country needs to get back on track........to see things the RIGHT way.....to take back our country and get rid of this cult-like liberal mindset our mainstream media has put out there for the generic and naive public to take in. Only then will things get changed. A new president (a Republican hopefully or at least a moderate democrat) to fix what Obama has made a mockery of. This is shameful America. Wake up! We can do some small things to make some change....... Blog about him......have debates with your liberal friends......vote for republicans in your local offices.........don't allow anyone to change your views because it's popular to do so. As Glenn Beck says......ask questions, get to know the key players and educate yourself on what is going on in this crazy world right now. Only then can we see clearly what needs to be done......but in the mean time, I just hope we don't all go down in flames with him.
Friday, July 31, 2009
bye-bye cane
I am 'almost' there...........cane and pain free. It was the first time I was walking around the kitchen getting dinner on the table and I realized that I had not picked up the cane. My gait was sort of normal! Usually, I walk like I am lopsided or have to take one serious dump. I can't believe I am tasting my freedom....freedom from walking funny, freedom from restrictions on what I can do and freedom from the stabbing pain I felt with every step I took. A day didn't go by for the past 2-3 years that I wasn't aware of my disability with every movement. I couldn't lie still at night or sit in a chair for more than 5 minutes without re-arranging myself and then eventually having to get up and move around only to have the pain stay there. It was like a ball of elastic bands being pulled in every direction with a few pins stuck inside that would jab me when I put my weight on it. It would ache...sometimes so much so that I would cry (even with meds) and sometimes it was that dull ache that never subsided. It's as though I am living a dream now....something I never thought possible for myself. I was relegated to practically living a sedentary lifestyle...unable to keep up with my kids or my well-being.
For anyone on the fence about have a total hip..........don't wait. Get the best surgeon and get it done NOW before BHO takes over your medical affairs. My timing couldn't have been better............but I worry that the day will come (as in Canada) that many surgeries such as mine will make sufferers wait many months or even years to have theirs done. I read a book called "Getting Hip" in which a Canadian woman in her 40's had to come to New Jersey to have her hip replaced in a timely fashion. Good 'ol universal healthcare up there in Canada. God I hope this reform does not take place here.
For anyone on the fence about have a total hip..........don't wait. Get the best surgeon and get it done NOW before BHO takes over your medical affairs. My timing couldn't have been better............but I worry that the day will come (as in Canada) that many surgeries such as mine will make sufferers wait many months or even years to have theirs done. I read a book called "Getting Hip" in which a Canadian woman in her 40's had to come to New Jersey to have her hip replaced in a timely fashion. Good 'ol universal healthcare up there in Canada. God I hope this reform does not take place here.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
my new mode of transportation....
the cane! Mine even has green plaid, so I am really cool....lol. The hip scar is coming along nicely. I have this awesome PT who is at Live Free Physical Therapy in Groton, MA. She gave me a soft tissue massage to decrease the scar tissue under the incision and help with the elasticity of the skin and movement. I will probably be going about 2x per week for the next couple of months. I still walk with a limp but it is not as noticable. I'm battling allergies now which I never had before in my life.........not sure where they are coming from. I wake up stuffed up and then it drains into my chest and sits there all day. Not fun. I am hoping it's due to all the nasty rainy days with pollen & mold. My biggest fear is that I am allergic to my new titanium hip which would really SUCK. They say that is not at all likely, but with me........anything is possible.
Just found out I will be working less hours in the Fall :( This is due to lower enrollment than expected. I still will teach the PM class and I start teaching art classes at the school as a side job, so I think in the end...I won't be losing out too much. This economy is affecting everyone....I'm just starting to feel the ripples.
While I'm here though...........since it is MY blog and some people don't like that I express my opinions on politics....I just want to say that I am very happy that the Cambridge police officer accused by Obama as acting "stupidly" is getting his revenge. Obama should have recused himself from opening his trap on that issue. Racial profiling? We have a black governor here in Mass and a black president in the U.S. Something tells me the country is not very prejudiced anymore. I am so tired of listening to the ranting of black leaders telling us that they don't have equal rights. I wasn't a part of slavery or injustice. Neither are my parents. Stop the whining and move on. I think the white police officer ought to tell Obama to take the beer he offered him and shove it up his *&%$#. Got that off my chest.
Just found out I will be working less hours in the Fall :( This is due to lower enrollment than expected. I still will teach the PM class and I start teaching art classes at the school as a side job, so I think in the end...I won't be losing out too much. This economy is affecting everyone....I'm just starting to feel the ripples.
While I'm here though...........since it is MY blog and some people don't like that I express my opinions on politics....I just want to say that I am very happy that the Cambridge police officer accused by Obama as acting "stupidly" is getting his revenge. Obama should have recused himself from opening his trap on that issue. Racial profiling? We have a black governor here in Mass and a black president in the U.S. Something tells me the country is not very prejudiced anymore. I am so tired of listening to the ranting of black leaders telling us that they don't have equal rights. I wasn't a part of slavery or injustice. Neither are my parents. Stop the whining and move on. I think the white police officer ought to tell Obama to take the beer he offered him and shove it up his *&%$#. Got that off my chest.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
X-Ray Magic!
Tah-dah! Pretty cool, huh? I am now "officially" the bionic woman. The dr. said it looked perfect and all was well at my 6 week follow-up appt. in Boston on Tuesday. I have graduated to a cane now (lovely)....for 4 more weeks to get rid of my limp. A limp is fairly normal after hip surgery and it usally painless and will just go away in 3 months or so. I need to build up my hip muscles to make it remember how to walk normally again and have the strength to do it. I start outpatient PT today. I found a great place a few miles from home and will be doing that 2x per week for the next month or so. Maybe some pool therapy after that. I don't have to go back to Dr. Burke until next year! Yippee!
I'm home now from Vermont for a few weeks now and have been busy carting the kids off to camps. My computer died 2 days ago and Dell came out and replaced my mother board and hard drive the next day (way to go Dell...with all my original programs pre-loaded on). My computer works better than before.......but my old hard drive may be junk and I may be unable to retrieve many of my photos from the past 12 months :( I am having it analyzed now and will know soon what I need to do or pay to get it back.........it's always something!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
almost over :(
I am in good spirits and getting better each day! Here I am at my cottage in Vermont :)
I'm still here in beautiful but (rainy and cold lately) Vermont.....and my mini-vacation recoup time is almost up. We are leaving Sunday afternoon. My parents were wonderful to make all my meals and care for my children. They haven't asked for a thing in return. I am trying to think of something they would appreciate from us since they would probably not accept money. I think our leaving is due time and we've outstayed our welcome...that might be gift enough for them....LOL. I am grateful to my parents and husband, my doctor, my kids, .......everyone who has been there for me through this very unique and difficult period in my life. Every day is better than the next! My incision is completely healed and only a pink long line exists. I am limping less each day and can walk further each day. I am amazed that I don't even have an ounce of pain! This is WAY better than I expected to be in such a short time (6 weeks). It is still hard to imagine being able to go back to work in September.....but in one month, I know things will be just that much better.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
great to see my friend!
no....I'm not talking about my period. LOL. Debby...my best friend from HS came up to Vermont from Philly this weekend. We went to Clark's Trading Post (photo above is my little guy Brody (age 4) holding his pretend money with the "wolfman" on it) over in Lincoln, NH, mini-golfed at Mr. Puttz, sunbathed, swam (I had to watch because I don't have permisson to swim yet) and had a great lunch right on Lake Champlain at Breakwaters. Super fun and lots of laughs. We're gonna try to do this every year we decided.
I haven't felt any pain in my hip and I walk better each day. I still limp pretty badly and am hoping this is just due to my muscle weakness and over time will improve. I see Dr. Burke at Mass General next week and hope to have my precautions lifted and can just use a cane instead of crutches. I think things will go well as I feel like a new person. No drugs, no pain........wow...I'm still in disbelief this really worked.
I haven't felt any pain in my hip and I walk better each day. I still limp pretty badly and am hoping this is just due to my muscle weakness and over time will improve. I see Dr. Burke at Mass General next week and hope to have my precautions lifted and can just use a cane instead of crutches. I think things will go well as I feel like a new person. No drugs, no pain........wow...I'm still in disbelief this really worked.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
quickie update...
I'm still here in Vermont at the lakehouse......the weather has been crap until today. We finally had one whole day without rain. The big fireworks show is tonight here at the lake (the family that puts it every year does it the day after the 4th for money reasons). My hubby Dave left with Joey and the Bogey to go home :( I miss them already. Maddie is sick with a stomach bug :( I am feeling pretty good. I am completely off drugs except for aspirin...yeah! I did go through some withdrawal symptoms...but my hip feels like a million bucks. Not even one tiny twinge of pain! A++++ surgeon and operation. I am very happy I went through all of it.....sometimes you just have to face what life throws at you. I was scared as hell to go through with it....but it wasn't fair to my family anymore or to me. I feel very brave and am proud of myself.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
New incision picture!
The steri-strips are gone! They were peeling off and getting really nasty dirty...so I couldn't take it anymore and removed them. Some had even been falling off on their own in my pants (yes, gross). So.......tah-dah!!!!!! I think it's perfect.........no stiches, just a line that is closed up. No redness or purplish coloring. I am really surprised how well it looks in just 23 days since surgery.
The other stuff you see on my thigh is just the adhesive glue that is stuck on my skin from the original bandages. I have to scrub that off...but it's pretty hard to do.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
At the lake!
I made it to the lake with all 4 kiddos. It's nice to be here and the weather is amazing today. We went to Walmart (woo hoo! lol...big excitement around these parts) and walked the entire supercenter! I had an incident in the changing room as I was trying on some shorts (the stretchy, cheap kind that I can wear right now so I am comfy sitting)...and I couldn't get them on. I realized after I'd taken my other pants off....I couldn't reach down to pull on the other shorts! So, the nice lady who worked in the changing room.....offered to help. She had an oxygen tank and had her knee replaced. She was so kind. I don't think I have ever come across someone so nice and willing to help someone they barely knew. It's nice to know there are people left like that! Anyways.......I also got a raised toilet seat for the back house (we have two houses here at the lake and only one commode). I had to cart around a raised toilet seat in Walmart...does it get any lower than that????? LOL.
I just made it back up from the dock to the house and now heading off to get some fresh produce at Four Corners Farm :) I am getting in and out of cars well now and my hip is virtually pain-free.........it's just unstable. My other hip hurts more because of all the strain I have to put on it. I hope I won't have to get that one replaced too :( I am down to 2 darvocet in the morning! I am almost completely drug-free and I barely even noticed since I feel so great. I see the light at the end of the tunnel!
I just made it back up from the dock to the house and now heading off to get some fresh produce at Four Corners Farm :) I am getting in and out of cars well now and my hip is virtually pain-free.........it's just unstable. My other hip hurts more because of all the strain I have to put on it. I hope I won't have to get that one replaced too :( I am down to 2 darvocet in the morning! I am almost completely drug-free and I barely even noticed since I feel so great. I see the light at the end of the tunnel!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
almost at the lake!
We are leaving in 2 days for our lakehouse in Vermont. My parents will be taking care of me and the kids (they have been saints). Dave is coming up to for the weekend and then has to go back home on Sunday to work. I really have been lucky with all my family support at home. They cook, clean, take care of the kids, get groceries......I couldn't ask for more! I kind of feel like a kid again...being taken care of. It's been so long since I'm not the caretaker. While I feel pretty darn good for someone who just had their hip replaced 19 days ago, I still feel vulnerable because I can't lift things and can't walk without my crutches. I still stay home most days just reading, watching movies or going online. It has rained for over a week solid........that does not help me to get out there and walk. My Dad is beside himself with boredom.......he keeps asking "So when do I get to leave?????". LOL.
I took my first 'standing up' shower since my surgery. I had been using a shower stool, but I just never felt completely clean using that thing. It felt great to stand there, but I held onto the shower bar. All very tiring though and my back hurt afterwards.
I heard some sad news today about a musician named Jay Bennett. I didn't know who he was until today because I don't really follow obscure indie music. His story was just sad and it hit close to home. He died while using a painkiller (the patch called fentanyl which was recalled at one point). They are not sure if he OD'd using the recalled patch (or newer version) as the old ones had a tendency to leak into the bloodstream causing breathing problems and even death. He had been petrified of his upcoming total hip replacement (due to his stage antics...jumping around and fell). He was quite depressed about it and wrote it on his Myspace blog. He also didn't have health insurance to cover the operation and had been trying to scrape up the money for it (I do have health insurance....and mine was totally covered). I can't imagine having to worry about finances too! I just for some reason felt really bad for this guy who was just 45 when he passed. It's just scary to think that life can just leave you like that at any time. Part of the reason for my blog is just that..........to help people who are dealing with the depression of hip surgery. It truly can be terrifying and depressing in the years, months and weeks prior to and after the surgery. I know because I've been there and I want to share that everything usually does turn out ok in the end. It's OK to feel anxious and depressed. It's all normal!
I took my first 'standing up' shower since my surgery. I had been using a shower stool, but I just never felt completely clean using that thing. It felt great to stand there, but I held onto the shower bar. All very tiring though and my back hurt afterwards.
I heard some sad news today about a musician named Jay Bennett. I didn't know who he was until today because I don't really follow obscure indie music. His story was just sad and it hit close to home. He died while using a painkiller (the patch called fentanyl which was recalled at one point). They are not sure if he OD'd using the recalled patch (or newer version) as the old ones had a tendency to leak into the bloodstream causing breathing problems and even death. He had been petrified of his upcoming total hip replacement (due to his stage antics...jumping around and fell). He was quite depressed about it and wrote it on his Myspace blog. He also didn't have health insurance to cover the operation and had been trying to scrape up the money for it (I do have health insurance....and mine was totally covered). I can't imagine having to worry about finances too! I just for some reason felt really bad for this guy who was just 45 when he passed. It's just scary to think that life can just leave you like that at any time. Part of the reason for my blog is just that..........to help people who are dealing with the depression of hip surgery. It truly can be terrifying and depressing in the years, months and weeks prior to and after the surgery. I know because I've been there and I want to share that everything usually does turn out ok in the end. It's OK to feel anxious and depressed. It's all normal!
Monday, June 22, 2009
feelin' good!
Things are going so well! I feel great..........need less meds and getting ready to head to our lakehouse in Vermont on Friday (June 26th) to finish up my rehabililation with my parents and kids. The worst pain is in the mornings, but once I do take my meds...I feel fine and can walk around (with the crutches still of course)..but more and more I can do things with a little more finesse and confidence.
Mickelson is in 3rd place in the US Open! 5 behind, but hopefully he'll have a hot round today. I've been watching every minute of it since there is really no where for me to go.
Mickelson is in 3rd place in the US Open! 5 behind, but hopefully he'll have a hot round today. I've been watching every minute of it since there is really no where for me to go.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
World Rhythms with Tony Vacca
New gash update! Steri-strips are getting very dirty.....the middle one is almost ready to fall off. It itches less with each day.....but all the tape glue and hospital antiseptic stains on my skin are still there. I guess they are supposed to eventually wear off.......but ewwwwww. Can you believe how far up the side of my thigh/ass this thing goes??? It's like a freakshow.
Tony performed last night at the "peace night" held by my daughter's favorite teacher of all time, Fred Goldberg. Tony Vacca is a percussionist and performs all over the world...he is AMAZING. I was really taken aback because I did not expect to enjoy my evening so much considering how conservative I am and all this crunchy peace talk makes me shiver. It's not that I don't want world peace...we all do. It's just that we were peaceful until along came the terrorists who don't like us for who we are. There is no peaceful way to deal with that. Ok, I'm starting to go off on one of my pro-Bush rants...with that said, this night was more about helping kids in Kenya learn and create communication between our kids and their kids. It was a very entertaining evening and my daughter's speech (the only kid to get up there and talk) was tearjerking. She told everyone in the room how Mr. Goldberg helped to make her the confident person she is today and taught her how to speak her mind. Conservative or liberal...he taught her to have a voice. I'm feeling pretty good today.....still on meds because of the muscle pain that is up and down my thigh. It takes awhile to train the muscles to work correctly. Going to watch the U.S. Open golf today.....go Mickelson!
Friday, June 19, 2009
update....
With each new day, I feel stronger and more confident I made the right decision to get my new hip. I still rely on crutches and would not be able to walk without them, but I can lift my leg now into bed by myself. I can put both feet up on the coffee table without lifting my operated leg. This is HUGE because when I got home from the hospital, I needed an aid just to move that leg because it was so weak. I can walk up and down my driveway and go upstairs by myself (although I always try to have someone behind me just in case).
Yesterday was my first "outing". My father drove me and Kenzie to her dr. appt. and I was able to get in and out of the car and took the elevator up the office. The nurse made a joke to me......she said..."sorry, we don't have any rooms for geriatric patients". Hahahahahaha. Ok, I admit that was pretty funny and I took it in stride as I know that I will have to endure a life full of jokes like that from now on. I thought it was pretty ballsy of her to make that joke not knowing how I'd react to it though. Good for her for not being politicially correct.........I appreciate a good joke now and again.
Tonight......I am going to a night of "peace" put on by my daughter's former 4th grade teacher. His name is Fred Goldberg and he is the complete opposite of me............liberal, anti-war, sustained living type and long hair (mind you....he's my parents age!). He is straight out of a 1964 peace rally. And yes, he voted for Obama (gasp!)......but I love this man though.........he taught my daughter how to be herself and speak her mind. He taught her to never be afraid to say how you feel and what you think. She entered his classroom a shy, not very confident 4th grader. She left his class with straight A's and her head held high. From that point on, she has been one of the most creative, confident and bright kids I have ever met (and while she's my daughter and I'm a little biased), I will say that most who meet her will tell you the same. She's the star lacrosse player on her team, solo singer for her chorus, in all the school plays all while maintaining her 3.8 grade point average. She's opinionated too.........but what made me so proud of her was that in the face of the majority of teachers and students voting for Obama in her school election, she proudly campaigned and made speeches in support of Senator John McCain. She's my little Republican and she knows her issues....it's not all me telling her what to think.
This is Fred's last year teaching and he is having a celebration of his 30 years of teaching peace through building healthy relationships. He has connected students in several African countries with his own students and he will be traveling to Kenya this summer to help develop literacy and to teach sustainable resuable energy. Does this sound like something I would normally attend??? No way. I just love this man for what he taught my daughter.......a year's worth of life lessons that shaped who she is today. My daughter in fact will be giving her own speech tonight thanking him for everything he did for her. So for today, I will put politics aside to celebrate his good will and all he has done for his students over the years.
Yesterday was my first "outing". My father drove me and Kenzie to her dr. appt. and I was able to get in and out of the car and took the elevator up the office. The nurse made a joke to me......she said..."sorry, we don't have any rooms for geriatric patients". Hahahahahaha. Ok, I admit that was pretty funny and I took it in stride as I know that I will have to endure a life full of jokes like that from now on. I thought it was pretty ballsy of her to make that joke not knowing how I'd react to it though. Good for her for not being politicially correct.........I appreciate a good joke now and again.
Tonight......I am going to a night of "peace" put on by my daughter's former 4th grade teacher. His name is Fred Goldberg and he is the complete opposite of me............liberal, anti-war, sustained living type and long hair (mind you....he's my parents age!). He is straight out of a 1964 peace rally. And yes, he voted for Obama (gasp!)......but I love this man though.........he taught my daughter how to be herself and speak her mind. He taught her to never be afraid to say how you feel and what you think. She entered his classroom a shy, not very confident 4th grader. She left his class with straight A's and her head held high. From that point on, she has been one of the most creative, confident and bright kids I have ever met (and while she's my daughter and I'm a little biased), I will say that most who meet her will tell you the same. She's the star lacrosse player on her team, solo singer for her chorus, in all the school plays all while maintaining her 3.8 grade point average. She's opinionated too.........but what made me so proud of her was that in the face of the majority of teachers and students voting for Obama in her school election, she proudly campaigned and made speeches in support of Senator John McCain. She's my little Republican and she knows her issues....it's not all me telling her what to think.
This is Fred's last year teaching and he is having a celebration of his 30 years of teaching peace through building healthy relationships. He has connected students in several African countries with his own students and he will be traveling to Kenya this summer to help develop literacy and to teach sustainable resuable energy. Does this sound like something I would normally attend??? No way. I just love this man for what he taught my daughter.......a year's worth of life lessons that shaped who she is today. My daughter in fact will be giving her own speech tonight thanking him for everything he did for her. So for today, I will put politics aside to celebrate his good will and all he has done for his students over the years.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Maddie is 12!
I can't believe my oldest daughter is 12. She made this cake totally by herself and even decorated it too with all that fruit. She loves to cook. It was so sweet of her to do because she knew that I can't do it being on crutches and my mother wasn't feeling well. We were going to "buy" her a cake......but she wouldn't hear of that! lol. She basically spent her entire b-day money at the store Delia's in the mall. I guess it's all the rage with the teeny boppers these days.
The other picture is my incision today......the bruising is gone! It is definately starting to fade a bit.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
A good day.....
I got to leave the house today! My first ride in the car since my ride home from the hospital 11 days ago. I watched my 7 year old Mitchie play in his last Little League game while I sat in the front seat of my parents car. My father parked in such a way that I could clearly see the field. I'm not quite sure how the town busy body found me...but she did and wanted to know everything. I clearly did not want to be seen, but when you go out in public...you have to be prepared for the worst.
I had PT this morning and she said I'm progressing well. I asked her if I am where I am supposed to be and she said I was. Being that I couldn't walk without crutches even if I wanted to......it seems light years away from getting back to normalcy. She assured me all was on course and it takes time. The visiting nurse came for her last visit today unless something comes up. She checked the incision and told me how to handle my brutal constipation (this is the reality when you are taking opiates). I had to drink magnesium citrate which is like the most tart soda you could ever drink. 1/2 bottle of that and you will be on the pot within 30 minutes......guaranteed! LOL. Being that it was successful in the end......I was so relieved and felt like a new person. Another day.......but I am starting to feel better and I can now really feel the difference.
I had PT this morning and she said I'm progressing well. I asked her if I am where I am supposed to be and she said I was. Being that I couldn't walk without crutches even if I wanted to......it seems light years away from getting back to normalcy. She assured me all was on course and it takes time. The visiting nurse came for her last visit today unless something comes up. She checked the incision and told me how to handle my brutal constipation (this is the reality when you are taking opiates). I had to drink magnesium citrate which is like the most tart soda you could ever drink. 1/2 bottle of that and you will be on the pot within 30 minutes......guaranteed! LOL. Being that it was successful in the end......I was so relieved and felt like a new person. Another day.......but I am starting to feel better and I can now really feel the difference.
Monday, June 15, 2009
"The Daily Gash"...back by popular demand!
If you are thoroughly grossed out by my daily incisional shots.....it might be wise not to follow my blog. It's hard to see how well it's healed with the steri-strips still attached. They will stay there until they are ready to come off themselves....which can be many weeks. I can see how well the scab is forming though and that is a good thing. I have no redness at the incision and it hurts less each day! I took a shower today on my trusty (I hope) bath stool. It's actually fun to sit and take a shower....I wish I'd thought of this before! It is scary though as I am always thinking I will slip in there. Usually my Mom helps me with this whole operation of getting undressed and getting in and out of the tub shower. I feel like a new woman when I get out! So refreshed. Who knew taking a shower would be so exciting? I am getting cabin fever like you read about. I haven't left the house since I got home last Tuesday. I did walk up and down my brick pathway outside, but it's rained pretty much every day, so I can't go out there if it's wet.
This is how I put my socks and/or anti-blood clotting tights on (not sure of the medical term, but they are basically there to keep the blood from pooling up inside my leg). Now I am officially a granny......sock helper stick and all!!!!! LOL. I cannot wait for all this to be behind me!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
frustration setting in....
I don't know what i expected....but I guess I never thought I'd feel so vulnerable. I knew I'd be weak and that I would be limited in what I could do. I am starting to feel kind of depressed and sad right now. My parents are being wonderful......my husband is helping too and so are the kids so I am not alone. I should be thankful that I am doing so well and walking with crutches. However, I can't lift my leg from a laying position straight up. Not even a centimeter. It's the most frustrating feeling......to lose the ability to lift your leg any way you want. I can lift it in other directions, but I still feel so weak. I'm doing my PT twice per day and trying to walk in circles around the house as much as possible. I am impossibly impatient! I am also so cooped up! Get me outta here....LOL.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Our new puppy's name is....
BOGIE. As in Humphrey Bogart (Bogie), not the bogey in golf. He's the best little puppy I ever met . He's added so much light and fun around here. When all of us are wondering what to do (there are quite a few of us around the house lately including my parents, dh and the kids)...we just look at Bogie and he makes us laugh. He doesn't bark....he makes this little squeaky noise. He'll sleep with you (on you) at anytime and he like molds into whatever position you put him in. He pees and poops outside and never whines. He's like the perfect puppy (at least for now!). Now about that GASH........here is the latest in my series of updates. 6-13-09 seems that bruising is becoming more reddish. The actual incision is looking less bloody. Sorry about the stretchmarks.....they are just par for the course...lol.
About the dead hummingbird :( Our cat caught this hummingbird and killed it! How does one actually catch a hummingbird??? Quite amazing I think. That poor little, beautiful and peaceful creature didn't harm anyone and along comes the mean cat and grabs him!
Friday, June 12, 2009
he's here!
Our new puppy is home safe and sound! He's been cuddling with me all morning. A complete sweetheart. He chews on my fingers, but he's gentle and we got him a little hedgehog squeeky toy and a hard plastic chew bone. He seems well-nourished, socialized and happy. He was raised around 3 boys...so he's used to all the kids we have.
Dave hasn't named him yet. He wants to wait until he sees his true personality. I'm one that names something right away....I don't think something should go nameless longer than a few hours. Arrrrghhhhh......I want to name him "River" because of the cool winding stripe on his head or even "Harley" since we just bought one a few months ago.
I woke up with a little numbness in my operated foot. Not sure if that's normal....it went away once I stood up. Feeling a little tired today.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
End of Day 6 Post-Op
My daughter took this lovely picture of me......I haven't put on any make-up or a bra since I was in the hospital. Ok, sharing way too much here. Also....a pic of my incision today....the bruise on it is getting darker and yellow. No redness, so looking good at least from a "medical" standpoint...lol. My children are scared of me...I joke you not. My 4 year old hasn't gone near me since he saw me in the hospital!
A New Pup!
Here is our new little guy (no name yet)....he looks like a mini version of our late dog Buddy. We found him today and the owners are shipping him to Manchester, NH from Illinois tonight!!!! It's a definate and I'll have pictures of him here at home with us tomorrow :) I just have to be careful when the puppy is around my feet! He will definately cheer up the place.
As I sadly told you earlier.......our dog Buddy died on Saturday. I firmly believe (and so does Dave) that you need to move on with your life sooner than later. My husband can't live without a dog in his life........he brings them to work with him and they become his best friends. Particularly Buddy. He doesn't want to sit around and grieve, so we've decided to get another Olde English Bulldogge (that is the correct spelling). They are cool dogs......taller than regular bulldogs, wider faces and sometimes longer hair.
My hip on the second day home.........the lines vertical are just a little old brown blood, not staples. I have outer steri strips and inner disolvable sutures. There is a rather large bruise right near my bum. I'll keep posting pics with my progress. My pain has lessened a bit, but it is still difficult to get up and down. Getting up from bed is the hardest part! My parents, kids and husband Dave have all been huge supporters and worry about my needs. I have had to miss some important events that my kids have been in, but they understand. They are, however......mortified by this incision. Maddie told me it looks like it came straight out of a horror movie....LOL. Frankenstein's bride.
I knew coming home wouldn't be easy. Even though I am not doing laundry, watching the kids or making meals........my kids still require attention from me. They all want to lay in my bed which is downstairs and Mitchell even jumped on me by accident and hurt my leg....it twisted a little. Nothing serious....but this is what to expect when you have a house full of kids and family. Once I am able to walk better, I plan to sleep upstairs in my bedroom alone with no one to bother me. I am still getting up 3-4 times per night for some reason. I don't know if it's the meds, the anxiety or just a weird time clock my body has adjusted to with all the cat naps I take.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Surgery Story (long....pics posted below story...kind of gross!)
Dave and I spent the night before my surgery at The Holiday Inn, a stone's throw from the Wang center where I was to have my surgery the next morning at 6:00 am. My daughter gave me her little sock monkey to hold and I clutched it all night, at times rocking back and forth with it. I think Dave was nervous too, but he didn't let on. I woke up on my own at 5:00 am and showered. We left for the surgical center and waited an hour to be called into the back where I would be set-up for surgery and get my lovely shower cap on. This was where I kissed Dave good-bye and started crying. The anesthesiologist held me and consoled me. He told me Dr. Burke was the very best and that he had worked alongside him for 22 years. My IV was put in and I was given a "cocktail" to calm me down. This cocktail was not enough..........I was put onto the operating table compeltely alert, but not freaking out because the drugs began to take the edge off. I was given a very large dose of the meds. I remember stroking the anesthesiologists hand and kept asking Dr. Burke if everything was going well. I also remember asking them to give me my hip bones in a cup after (which they never did by the way......I don't know why I said that because that is the last thing I want to see). They must have cranked up the meds because that is when I fell asleep. I woke up to one of the nurses holding out a group residents picture of Paul Appleton (the one I dated way back when) and they were all talking about how great Paul was to work with (all the docs knew Paul well). If you have read my previous posts, Paul is a trauma orthopedic surgeon at Beth Israel in Boston. He was the one who told me Dr. Burke is the best and to go to him. Paul was my first "love". He is still my next door neighbor at my lakehouse in Vermont and he has 4 kids and a lovely wife too. We speak often at the lakehouse and I'm grateful to have such a caring friend still in my life after all these years.
I remember laughing as they wheeled me out and saying "YEAH!!!! I made it"..........
Then it hit me, I was in the recovery room. That was when I realized I could not feel a thing from my waist to my toes. Not a thing. How scary is that??????? I had spinals with my babies, but this was a true spinal....a 6 hour puppy. I had to wait until I could wiggle my toes to leave that room and go to my real room. That took from 10:30 am to 2:30 pm. I was flailing around because I couldn't move my feet. I didn't believe the nurses. I thought they were all lying to me about my legs and that something must have happened during surgery. Slowly...inch by inch...my sensation did come back and enough to just slightly wiggle my toes. My operated leg took much longer as they had me on my side during surgery. I was wheeled through the cold halls with my warm blankies on :) Up, up, up and way to the 22nd floor to Phillips House. It's affectionately called the Penthouse rooms because it is luxury up there. I thought for sure they had the wrong person....that they were going to come in and say they screwed up and that room wasn't really mine! It had a flat screen plasma TV with Dish Network. It had it's own fridge and vanity. It was a large room with a large couch/futon. Everything was mahogony and real wood floors. I had the most amazing views of the Charles River. You couldn't get this if you asked for it. I shit you not about all that....see my photos below. No one would tell me why I got that room....but I wasn't going to argue. Insurance covers it because they didn't have any doubles left, so the choice wasn't mine. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. You don't slap a gift horse in the mouth (is that the saying?). Anywho..............I was given a PCA which I got to push the button for my meds. I first got dilauded which they all said was stronger than morphine. It didn't touch my pain. So, I asked for morphine and then I slept like a baby. I had no idea where I was and was floating around my room....LOL. Friends called and were actually concerned about me because I slurred every word. This lasted a day and then I was switched to dilauded pills which again did nothing for me. The pain management team came because I was a tough case and they prescribed morphine tablets to go home with. They work great by the way...LOL! I will be weaning off them slowly over the next few weeks.
The food was good........not great. They give you small amounts of lots of things and side dishes. You got the next two meals menus with your breakfast. It's like, "I don't want to think about what I'm eating in 10 hours"! I have to hand it to them though because everything was always hot and served on time. I got a newspaper handed to me every morning. Kuddos. All the nurses were fabulous except one male nurse who gave me the creeps. He was lurking in my room as I lay half naked on my bed at 2:00 am. He was slowing getting the blood pressure cuff out, but he should have been on the other side of my bed and I had no idea how long he'd been there. He then said he needed "blood". That was when I asked him to get the head nurse and she excused him. I told her I preferred "female" nurses....but truth be told....it was this strange man that I didn't want in there who didn't give me warm fuzzies. I felt kind of mean...but when you are laying there vulnerable, you don't need to feel nervous about the people who help you. I think that it's important to speak up and be your own advocate. I had to speak up on numerous occasions about getting my meds on time or getting a wash basin, getting my constant ginger ales, etc. You can't always expect them to do it all or know what you're thinking. I know by the end of my stay....the nurses couldn't wait for that door to hit the backside of my wheelchair....LOL.
Sadly, during my stay.........our wonderful Olde English Bulldogge Buddy died suddenly and unexpectedly. My husband was shattered by this and he is still grieving. It was not the news I needed to hear while lying in bed feeling like shit. Buddy was Dave's best friend and did everything with him. When I say he would've picked the dog over me, he would pick the dog. Ok, maybe not....but darn close to that. I didn't get a lot of visitors as Boston is 1.5 hours away from home. All my relatives live in Jersey. My parents, kids and husband came. Lots of friends called which was nice. You find out who your true family and friends are when you go through something like that.
Well........overall, it was a great experience and I am walking with crutches around my house. I have to sit or lay down most of the time. I have a visiting nurse and OT and PT therapists coming to my house a couple times a week for about a month. For those that have followed my story.....this is how it all went down. For those who are just reading it now, I hope it will help you to know the details of what happens from start to finish. Everyone's story will be different, but this one is mine :) A success story I hope.
I remember laughing as they wheeled me out and saying "YEAH!!!! I made it"..........
Then it hit me, I was in the recovery room. That was when I realized I could not feel a thing from my waist to my toes. Not a thing. How scary is that??????? I had spinals with my babies, but this was a true spinal....a 6 hour puppy. I had to wait until I could wiggle my toes to leave that room and go to my real room. That took from 10:30 am to 2:30 pm. I was flailing around because I couldn't move my feet. I didn't believe the nurses. I thought they were all lying to me about my legs and that something must have happened during surgery. Slowly...inch by inch...my sensation did come back and enough to just slightly wiggle my toes. My operated leg took much longer as they had me on my side during surgery. I was wheeled through the cold halls with my warm blankies on :) Up, up, up and way to the 22nd floor to Phillips House. It's affectionately called the Penthouse rooms because it is luxury up there. I thought for sure they had the wrong person....that they were going to come in and say they screwed up and that room wasn't really mine! It had a flat screen plasma TV with Dish Network. It had it's own fridge and vanity. It was a large room with a large couch/futon. Everything was mahogony and real wood floors. I had the most amazing views of the Charles River. You couldn't get this if you asked for it. I shit you not about all that....see my photos below. No one would tell me why I got that room....but I wasn't going to argue. Insurance covers it because they didn't have any doubles left, so the choice wasn't mine. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. You don't slap a gift horse in the mouth (is that the saying?). Anywho..............I was given a PCA which I got to push the button for my meds. I first got dilauded which they all said was stronger than morphine. It didn't touch my pain. So, I asked for morphine and then I slept like a baby. I had no idea where I was and was floating around my room....LOL. Friends called and were actually concerned about me because I slurred every word. This lasted a day and then I was switched to dilauded pills which again did nothing for me. The pain management team came because I was a tough case and they prescribed morphine tablets to go home with. They work great by the way...LOL! I will be weaning off them slowly over the next few weeks.
The food was good........not great. They give you small amounts of lots of things and side dishes. You got the next two meals menus with your breakfast. It's like, "I don't want to think about what I'm eating in 10 hours"! I have to hand it to them though because everything was always hot and served on time. I got a newspaper handed to me every morning. Kuddos. All the nurses were fabulous except one male nurse who gave me the creeps. He was lurking in my room as I lay half naked on my bed at 2:00 am. He was slowing getting the blood pressure cuff out, but he should have been on the other side of my bed and I had no idea how long he'd been there. He then said he needed "blood". That was when I asked him to get the head nurse and she excused him. I told her I preferred "female" nurses....but truth be told....it was this strange man that I didn't want in there who didn't give me warm fuzzies. I felt kind of mean...but when you are laying there vulnerable, you don't need to feel nervous about the people who help you. I think that it's important to speak up and be your own advocate. I had to speak up on numerous occasions about getting my meds on time or getting a wash basin, getting my constant ginger ales, etc. You can't always expect them to do it all or know what you're thinking. I know by the end of my stay....the nurses couldn't wait for that door to hit the backside of my wheelchair....LOL.
Sadly, during my stay.........our wonderful Olde English Bulldogge Buddy died suddenly and unexpectedly. My husband was shattered by this and he is still grieving. It was not the news I needed to hear while lying in bed feeling like shit. Buddy was Dave's best friend and did everything with him. When I say he would've picked the dog over me, he would pick the dog. Ok, maybe not....but darn close to that. I didn't get a lot of visitors as Boston is 1.5 hours away from home. All my relatives live in Jersey. My parents, kids and husband came. Lots of friends called which was nice. You find out who your true family and friends are when you go through something like that.
Well........overall, it was a great experience and I am walking with crutches around my house. I have to sit or lay down most of the time. I have a visiting nurse and OT and PT therapists coming to my house a couple times a week for about a month. For those that have followed my story.....this is how it all went down. For those who are just reading it now, I hope it will help you to know the details of what happens from start to finish. Everyone's story will be different, but this one is mine :) A success story I hope.
Filet 'O Thigh
Right after surgery in my new room........a little morphined up. I think this photo is as nasty as I felt that day.
WARNING GRAPHIC AND GROSS!!!!!!
Sorry......but I just had to post my battle wound. It is over 13 inches long and is sealed with surgical strips, not staples. My doctor chose to NOT have minimally invasive total hip replacement surgery because of my complicated hip....so it's way bigger than I imagined. This is the side view of my left hip while laying in the hospital bed this morning. Yeah, I got to leave the hospital today....June 9, 2009 :) The surgery was a success!
Sorry......but I just had to post my battle wound. It is over 13 inches long and is sealed with surgical strips, not staples. My doctor chose to NOT have minimally invasive total hip replacement surgery because of my complicated hip....so it's way bigger than I imagined. This is the side view of my left hip while laying in the hospital bed this morning. Yeah, I got to leave the hospital today....June 9, 2009 :) The surgery was a success!The New Hip Mama!!!!
GORGEOUS flowers sent to me in my room from my best friend Debby McGrath and her mom Mrs. D. True friends for life and like a sister and second Mom to me.
My 36 inch Plasma TV in my very own private Suite at the Phillips House at Mass Gen! I got hooked up at the hospital to say the least :) I think I knew a few people in high places or I won the lottery. Either way, I appreciated the hospitality and the gorgeous room overlooking the Charles River in Boston. I never felt like I was "in" a hospital. I know this is not the norm with surgeries, but I am grateful to Dr. Burke, the nurses Mary, Kristen and Maureen especially. I didn't have to pay extra for it since they said the double rooms were taken.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
baby teeth...
Maddie (my almost 12 yo) had 4 baby teeth pulled today with laughing gas. She came out of the room all happy and then about 20 minutes later....in tears when the pain finally hit her. It literally took then 3 minutes to do it. I've never had that stuff.....they should always give that to you during dentistry. I don't get why they stopped that routinely.
Well.................4 days (a little less). Thursday night I leave for the hotel with my husband and then the surgery will be on Friday morning at 6:00 am. We decided that a long drive in (80 minutes) would be too long at 4:00 in the morning. You could say I'm just getting anxious....but not freaking out. I'm really surprised at my strength. I thought I'd be getting hot flashes, but I think I am just READY and it's time to get it over with. I won't be able to blog until I get home from the hospital as I don't have a laptop...but knowing me, I'll find a computer somewhere in the hospital.
Gotta make supps for the kiddos........
Well.................4 days (a little less). Thursday night I leave for the hotel with my husband and then the surgery will be on Friday morning at 6:00 am. We decided that a long drive in (80 minutes) would be too long at 4:00 in the morning. You could say I'm just getting anxious....but not freaking out. I'm really surprised at my strength. I thought I'd be getting hot flashes, but I think I am just READY and it's time to get it over with. I won't be able to blog until I get home from the hospital as I don't have a laptop...but knowing me, I'll find a computer somewhere in the hospital.
Gotta make supps for the kiddos........
Saturday, May 30, 2009
6 days....
I can't believe it's almost here. 6 days until my big day getting the titanium hip. I will officially set-off airport alarms (I will always have to carry a card proving I have a prothesis) and I will always have to take an antibiotic when I go to the dentist :(
On a good note....Maddie's NESLL (New England Select LAX League) team came in 2nd overall today at their big end of the year Jamboree. They lost by 3......but were losing by 9 points.....so not too shabby of a comeback. She played goalie! Little Maddie in the goal and a feisty little ninja thing she was. Beautiful day at Governor's Academy in Byfield, MA. Couldn't ask for something better.....sun, lacrosse, free food, good competition and got to spend the whole day with my daughter alone :)
On a good note....Maddie's NESLL (New England Select LAX League) team came in 2nd overall today at their big end of the year Jamboree. They lost by 3......but were losing by 9 points.....so not too shabby of a comeback. She played goalie! Little Maddie in the goal and a feisty little ninja thing she was. Beautiful day at Governor's Academy in Byfield, MA. Couldn't ask for something better.....sun, lacrosse, free food, good competition and got to spend the whole day with my daughter alone :)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
little blip in the road
The hospital called to tell me that I didn't have an EKG at my pre-admission testing. I was like...."hello.....the boobs were lifted and fitted with electrodes". After a few hours, they located the missing paperwork and thankfully I don't have to make that trip back to Boston.
I'm sad my school year is ending next week. This is honestly the only job I've ever had that I can say I thoroughly love and don't ever want to leave. My boss Linda is just the kindest person and so laid back. She lets me have the creative freedom I need...because I don't always do things in a straight line...lol. I may veer off topic if I think the class if bored or I may spontaneously start an art project just because I thought of the idea at that moment. That is why Montessori is so fabulous.......the flexibility to be who you are and go with it.
I will be teaching the same class again the in the fall......so I will be back. Linda asked me to teach summer school, but (woe is me) I'm having the hip surgery when it all starts. It would have been nice to get the extra income.....hopefully next year. Off to bed....I keep late hours these days. This is actually an early night for me.
I'm sad my school year is ending next week. This is honestly the only job I've ever had that I can say I thoroughly love and don't ever want to leave. My boss Linda is just the kindest person and so laid back. She lets me have the creative freedom I need...because I don't always do things in a straight line...lol. I may veer off topic if I think the class if bored or I may spontaneously start an art project just because I thought of the idea at that moment. That is why Montessori is so fabulous.......the flexibility to be who you are and go with it.
I will be teaching the same class again the in the fall......so I will be back. Linda asked me to teach summer school, but (woe is me) I'm having the hip surgery when it all starts. It would have been nice to get the extra income.....hopefully next year. Off to bed....I keep late hours these days. This is actually an early night for me.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
9 days.....
Holy large crap.............9 days until I am operated on............HELP ME!!!!! LOL. Actually, I am fine. I have been thinking about this day for 2 years. I found out I can have regional anesthesia...so I am less stressed about it. That means...I can be awake (sort of) and not have any clue as to what is happening around me. I asked the doctor if I'll be able to hear the "saw" and he just laughed. He said I won't even know or remember a thing. I'm not really sure he answered my question, but I just hope they get it right with the meds. I've had 4 c-sections (spinals) and arthoscopic surgery (general for that)........you'd think this would not be such a big deal to me....but I always think the worst. I am trying to go to my "happy place" right now and I'm not getting there...lol.
Gots to go now!
Gots to go now!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Pre-Admission Testing.....
Could it take any longer????? I arrived at Mass Gen at 12:30.......immediately got into x-ray and then waited in Dr. Burke's office for his face-to-face meeting. He was a pleasant man....unusually so for an orthopedic doctor I have come to find. He even made a few dry jokes and seemed so fully confident in his skills that when I asked questions, he gave me that "are you seriously asking me that question" sort of face. I suppose he has to answer dumber questions than that.....but he's just like "I'm going to take great care of you....no worries".
That took from 12:30-2:00. Then...I proceeded to venture to another one of the three Mass Gen buildings outside. Hobbling of course. I finally found a place to grab a bagle and figured I'd eat it at the pre-admission testing place. Well....I get in there and I was saw every kind of person you could imagine (if you can imagine a room full of every ethnicity, every language spoken and just strange staff behavior. The first nurse who took me for an EKG had absolutely ZERO modesty about me taking off my shirt (get this...she had to lift up each boob to put an electrode under it)... not if that doesn't spoil your next meal...I dont' know what will. She was humming while doing this in her Trinidad accent. Then, back to the waiting room where I met up with Dr. Sullivan (a woman who I befriended while waiting the hour at Dr. Burke's office). She is a psychologist and extremely friendly. She and I hit it off right away and I wish she could be my roommate if only her surgery were a few days later. She seemed the only normal one of the litter today....but I could be misjudging the lot (but I don't think so). Then we waited....and waited........until 4:00 rolls around. I'm finally brought in to meet with anesthesia who was a really nice, young woman who I thought was a nurse right out of school. She was smart and knew her shit. Then, a 40-something nurse came in to talk to me about the same stuff the anesthesia person talked to me about (same questions). OK, can I just answer them once for once?????? Then............after all those hours......at 6:30, I got my blood drawn. And of course....my blood didn't want to come out, so she had to pull the rubber thing harder until I literally thought my arm would pop off. She finally got needed blood..........and then wanted a urine sample. Got to go home..........through Boston rush traffic and here I am..........ready to hit the sack. Good night!
That took from 12:30-2:00. Then...I proceeded to venture to another one of the three Mass Gen buildings outside. Hobbling of course. I finally found a place to grab a bagle and figured I'd eat it at the pre-admission testing place. Well....I get in there and I was saw every kind of person you could imagine (if you can imagine a room full of every ethnicity, every language spoken and just strange staff behavior. The first nurse who took me for an EKG had absolutely ZERO modesty about me taking off my shirt (get this...she had to lift up each boob to put an electrode under it)... not if that doesn't spoil your next meal...I dont' know what will. She was humming while doing this in her Trinidad accent. Then, back to the waiting room where I met up with Dr. Sullivan (a woman who I befriended while waiting the hour at Dr. Burke's office). She is a psychologist and extremely friendly. She and I hit it off right away and I wish she could be my roommate if only her surgery were a few days later. She seemed the only normal one of the litter today....but I could be misjudging the lot (but I don't think so). Then we waited....and waited........until 4:00 rolls around. I'm finally brought in to meet with anesthesia who was a really nice, young woman who I thought was a nurse right out of school. She was smart and knew her shit. Then, a 40-something nurse came in to talk to me about the same stuff the anesthesia person talked to me about (same questions). OK, can I just answer them once for once?????? Then............after all those hours......at 6:30, I got my blood drawn. And of course....my blood didn't want to come out, so she had to pull the rubber thing harder until I literally thought my arm would pop off. She finally got needed blood..........and then wanted a urine sample. Got to go home..........through Boston rush traffic and here I am..........ready to hit the sack. Good night!
Monday, May 25, 2009
fun weekend
Great time up at our lakehouse in Vermont this past weekend....my whole family. The kids had a ball at the lake.........swimming, tubing and riding their bikes all day. I talked a little to my friend Paul Appleton who lives next door (he's the dr. who referred me to Dr. Burke). I didn't want to drag his weekend down with orthopedic questions....so I I decided to leave out anything to do with my hip. Then, my mother roped the poor man into a conversation about her ailing back and what she should do....blah...blah...blah. I suppose when you are a doctor, you are going to have your friends constantly asking medical questions (as if you know everything and the person's medical history).
Just typed out my entire itinerary for my hosptial stay for my parents. I printed maps out on how to get to all the kids' activities, the hospital, summer camp and Kenzie's theater play. That took about 2 hours. I feel very sorry for my parents and my husband who have to take care of my world while I am in morphine land.........anyone who does as much as I do in one day does deserve a medal (so where is mine????)
Just typed out my entire itinerary for my hosptial stay for my parents. I printed maps out on how to get to all the kids' activities, the hospital, summer camp and Kenzie's theater play. That took about 2 hours. I feel very sorry for my parents and my husband who have to take care of my world while I am in morphine land.........anyone who does as much as I do in one day does deserve a medal (so where is mine????)
Friday, May 22, 2009
Vermont here we come...
off to Vermont for the weekend where we have a lakehouse. The kids couldn't be more excited and it's my last trip before the surgery....so I'm just going to have fun and try not to think about it. I did hear some good news today......Maddie is officially a Rev LAX player (yeah....she had to try out and not many make it). She will be traveling with her teammates all over the place. I can't believe how far she's come.....I'm a proud Mama.
I also talked to my discharge nurse today. We chatted for over an hour and we both know my good friend Dr. Appleton in Boston (small world...she worked with him a few years ago). He's the dr. (and friend) who advised me to go to Dr. Burke in the first place. She made me feel so great. Mass Gen is taking care of everything! I will only be in the hospital 3-4 days and all the kids can come and visit anytime. They are arranging a home healthcare person to come to my house several times a week for the first month. Yeah! I was worried I'd have to go to a rehab place. I also found out that I may be able to have regional anesthesia which would be a spinal. I wouldn't feel anything (just like in my 4 c-sections) and I'd be a fuzzy state of mind. How cool is that? I hated the idea of actually going to sleep (and not waking up). So, this is safer and I feel better about it. I'll write about my trip to VT later.......probably won't be blogging this weekend...so have a great long weekend and remember all those that died for our country so we could be free and thus blog whatever we want to.
I also talked to my discharge nurse today. We chatted for over an hour and we both know my good friend Dr. Appleton in Boston (small world...she worked with him a few years ago). He's the dr. (and friend) who advised me to go to Dr. Burke in the first place. She made me feel so great. Mass Gen is taking care of everything! I will only be in the hospital 3-4 days and all the kids can come and visit anytime. They are arranging a home healthcare person to come to my house several times a week for the first month. Yeah! I was worried I'd have to go to a rehab place. I also found out that I may be able to have regional anesthesia which would be a spinal. I wouldn't feel anything (just like in my 4 c-sections) and I'd be a fuzzy state of mind. How cool is that? I hated the idea of actually going to sleep (and not waking up). So, this is safer and I feel better about it. I'll write about my trip to VT later.......probably won't be blogging this weekend...so have a great long weekend and remember all those that died for our country so we could be free and thus blog whatever we want to.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I am in denial
I seriously refuse to think about this.........the reality of what is going to happen to me in 15 days. This is crazy. A part of my body is going to be literally cut out of me like a horror movie. It's unbelievable when you really think about what is going to be done to me. I know I need this....I know it's inevitable here, but have I really thought about how badly this is going to affect my life for the next 3-4 months...maybe longer??????
I am going about my daily business as if this is not happening. I haven't prepared anything other than some babysitting arrangements. My husband doesn't discuss it with me. I think he is in worse denial than myself to be honest. The truth is...........I am numb. I am completely and utterly numb right now. I don't know how to feel and I don't like not feeling how I feel! Does that make any sense to you at all? Probably not.
I want to wake up in the recovery room with my mommy and my family beside me under a warm blankie. I want to know that I'm going to live through this! Let this BE OVER. I am sick of thinking about it, blogging about it, and talking about it. Just had to get that all off my chest. It's time for me to really go to bed. I have work tomorrow and I can't seem to go to bed like a normal person.
I am going about my daily business as if this is not happening. I haven't prepared anything other than some babysitting arrangements. My husband doesn't discuss it with me. I think he is in worse denial than myself to be honest. The truth is...........I am numb. I am completely and utterly numb right now. I don't know how to feel and I don't like not feeling how I feel! Does that make any sense to you at all? Probably not.
I want to wake up in the recovery room with my mommy and my family beside me under a warm blankie. I want to know that I'm going to live through this! Let this BE OVER. I am sick of thinking about it, blogging about it, and talking about it. Just had to get that all off my chest. It's time for me to really go to bed. I have work tomorrow and I can't seem to go to bed like a normal person.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
2 chairs...
That is what I needed at my daughter Madison's play last night........one to sit on and one to stretch my leg out on. How sad is that? I couldn't sit comfortably for 2 hours in that plastic crappy chair (you know the kind you sit on in the cafeteria in HS?). So, I just took another chair, put it in front of me...took my shoes off and stretched out for a comfy evening. I got quite a few stares to the say the least. One in particular from the principal.....I think had I been any younger, he would have come over and scolded me. The thing is...I could've cared less what anyone thought. Years ago, that would've bothered me. Hell with it....I'm getting my new hip in 20 days! I'm going to be using a walker...I better get used to stares.
Today...I took a couple of the kids to the mall. I really, really wanted to keep up with them. I wanted to go to all my old stores but I told Maddie that I was going to park in the closest handicap spot available and we would shop only the stores directly in front of it. Well, I got roped into walking the whole mall. She just HAD to go to Delia's and Hollister. Of course...what did I expect from that venture. As I hobbled to and fro, I realized it would probably be my last trip to the mall before my surgery. Everything is about the surgery date. I always think ..."this is the last time that I will ________ before my surgery" and then I get all depressed. Boo hoo. Gotta run...going to Maddie's 2nd night of her play and once again the use of 2 more chairs....maybe I'll even bring a seat cushion! Now that might be a little embarrassing.
Today...I took a couple of the kids to the mall. I really, really wanted to keep up with them. I wanted to go to all my old stores but I told Maddie that I was going to park in the closest handicap spot available and we would shop only the stores directly in front of it. Well, I got roped into walking the whole mall. She just HAD to go to Delia's and Hollister. Of course...what did I expect from that venture. As I hobbled to and fro, I realized it would probably be my last trip to the mall before my surgery. Everything is about the surgery date. I always think ..."this is the last time that I will ________ before my surgery" and then I get all depressed. Boo hoo. Gotta run...going to Maddie's 2nd night of her play and once again the use of 2 more chairs....maybe I'll even bring a seat cushion! Now that might be a little embarrassing.
Friday, May 15, 2009
home again...
with sick kids that is. I have been taking this rare opportunity to update my blog and my photography shop. 21 days until my hip replacement. I feel like my death sentence is coming up.......I am literally counting down by hours. I have been trying to find every avenue to keep my mind busy and thinking about anything except my hip. Unfortunately, with every step I take I can physically feel the pain and then all those thoughts just come rushing back into my head.
I played collegiate tennis......and all my life I always thought I was invincible. Even when I gave birth to my children, I never thought that something bad could happen to me. I thought about my children and their health, but I never thought about ME. My biggest fear is not making it alive out of this surgery. I am worried I'll never walk again. These fears are unfounded based on the statistics and my age, but I have them nonetheless. I just want to be there for my kids and act young (I don't want to have the hip of an 80 year old woman)! When I get my new hip and I can take a long walk around my lake (in Vermont)....pain free....that is the day I will feel complete again.
I guess it helps me to write about my feelings because I feel a little better right now. No one discusses the depression you get BEFORE surgery. My anxiety is through the roof about this. I may put on a happy face and act like it's no big deal, but it's huge. I have never felt so helpless and so alone. Nothing anyone says to me is going to change that. Please let June 5th get here soon...............I just want it over with!
I played collegiate tennis......and all my life I always thought I was invincible. Even when I gave birth to my children, I never thought that something bad could happen to me. I thought about my children and their health, but I never thought about ME. My biggest fear is not making it alive out of this surgery. I am worried I'll never walk again. These fears are unfounded based on the statistics and my age, but I have them nonetheless. I just want to be there for my kids and act young (I don't want to have the hip of an 80 year old woman)! When I get my new hip and I can take a long walk around my lake (in Vermont)....pain free....that is the day I will feel complete again.
I guess it helps me to write about my feelings because I feel a little better right now. No one discusses the depression you get BEFORE surgery. My anxiety is through the roof about this. I may put on a happy face and act like it's no big deal, but it's huge. I have never felt so helpless and so alone. Nothing anyone says to me is going to change that. Please let June 5th get here soon...............I just want it over with!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
does it ever end....
the illnesses around here. First my son started throwing up yesterday.......like all day even though I still had to be the hostess of my school's party. Today, on my way to what I thought would be a "normal" day at work....Brody threw up in the car (all over the car by the way). My other son Mitchell soaked right through his pants all in the same car trip! I turned the car around...made the phone calls to work and school and now I'm home with 2 sick kids. I do not need to get sick! I have my operation in 3 weeks........my oldest daughter is in her school play both Friday and Saturday..........ok, I'll I'm doing lately is gripe.
On a positive note....I hope to actually fold the laundry today (my husband would be thrilled) and maybe plant a few things outside. Now if I could just get off this dang computer for a little while, I might accomplish these things.
On a positive note....I hope to actually fold the laundry today (my husband would be thrilled) and maybe plant a few things outside. Now if I could just get off this dang computer for a little while, I might accomplish these things.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
totally bad hip day....
As usual, I take on the world. I hosted a "Mother's Day Tea Party" at my little private school today with Claudia. I had to be the hostess with the mostess as they say. The only problem being that I can barely walk these days and no one else seems to care. If only they could feel my pain for even just one day they would understand. My husband.....same crap.......he still thinks I'm lazy because I let the laundry accumulate in the basement (HELLO.....walking up stairs with a huge basket and bum hip just don't jive. I am far from lazy, quite the opposite actually. Just because I do spend quite a bit of time trying to start my photography business and go on Facebook more than I should doesn't make me lazy. Just because I don't spend my whole day folding laundry and making perfect dinners doesn't make me lazy. If he knew half of what I do in the course of day with 4 kids, a job and a lame hip......he wouldn't be able to handle it. I am probably preaching to the choir here....I am sure many of you have husbands similar, but you may also have husbands that are opposite that and I ENVY you. I just hope he gets his act together and takes care of me properly after my surgery. I hope the doctors talk to him and give him the rules about what I can and cannot do and for how long. It seems unless a doctor tells him I'm in pain and need help...it's the only way I'm going to get it. Ughhhhhhhhhhh....just had to vent on another throbbing, bad hippy day....23 days until my surgery!
Saturday, May 9, 2009
My Hip Journey..............
It would take about a 500 page novel to go into the details of my hip journey and why I am facing a total hip replacement at age 37. I will make bullet points to outline:
- 2004 - pain began in my left hip. Dr. told me it was tronchateric bursitis (sp?)
- 2005 - pain gets worse so I get x-rays and an MRI which diagnoses me with development hip dysplasia (from birth....like 1 in 1000 live births have this). Mine was not detected until age 33. No arthritis noted.
- 2006 - Pain increases, I went to see an orthopedist in Boston who told me I have a labral tear and I need arthroscopic surgery to correct it and my pain will go away. Arthritis noted. I had an MRI with contrast injected in my hip socket. Most painful thing I ever experienced. Worse than my 4 c-sections! They stick a huge needle with no pain meds right into you hip.........imagine feeling the sensation of your funny bone for 10 minutes straight but having it hurt too? I felt like I was in a horror movie.
- 2007 - Arthroscopic surgery by Dr. Joe McCarthy at Newton-Wellesley hospital. Surgery makes my hip even more painful and I survive on Darvocet and long periods of rest. Limp begins and doesn't go away. Dr. McCarthy tells me I need a THR (total hip replacement).
- Fall 2008 - I have a good friend who is an orthopod in Boston who told me to go to Dr. Millis at Children's Hospital. He is supposedly one of the best in the world for very abnormal "young" hips (under 40...so I qualified...just barely) and performs osteomoties. This is a longer recovery, but a surgery that saves your bone. Unfortunately, because of the arthroscopic surgery failing (should never have been performed on a dysplastic hip like mine)...my hip degenerated to the point that an osteotomy was probably going to fail on me. Dr. Millis told me I needed an THR and quickly.
- November 2008 - Consult with Dr. Dennis Burke at Mass General (the best hip replacement surgeon around ...at least here in Mass from what I hear). He concurs immediately that while he hates performing THR on young people like myself, I truly needed one and I should book for a Spring surgery so I can finish out my teaching year (I am a Montessori preschool teacher) and lose some weight. I never lost the weight and actually gained about 10-15 pounds this winter :( Boo on me!
- May 2009 - Pre-op physical with my primary. All goes well and my bloodwork was fine. My blood pressure was 120/80 and my cholesterol was even under 200 for the first time in like NEVER. Weird. I weigh more and I didn't change my eating habits, so I have no clue as to why the total cholesterol went from 230 at my last physical to 190. I got off track here.....
- May 26, 2009 - I will have my pre-op appt. at Mass General with Dr. Burke. I finally feel like it's really going to happen and I'm mentally ready for this....I've had it with the limping, the pain and the meds.
- June 5, 2009 - My surgery day...............I will keep you posted hopefully as soon as I am able to write legibally and not in a morphine induced haze...lol
Just for the record though.........while I am nervous I'll never wake up from my surgery (that is honestly my main concern...not the pain, not he inability to walk), I am very happy I am having this done. I might not feel this way the day after surgery, but right now I know I am doing the right thing. I may need revision surgery someday, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. For now......I just try to take each day as it comes and love my 4 kids and my husband. I think they all want me back to being me! So if you are reading this and you have any hip issues you want to talk about, feel free to comment. I know so much more now about the anatomy of the hip and the diseases in the young hip. I just wish I knew then what I know now. Dr. Millis would have been able to fix my hip........but you can't cry over spilled milk.
So, please comment if you want, I'd love to hear from you!
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