New incision picture!

The steri-strips are gone! They were peeling off and getting really nasty dirty...so I couldn't take it anymore and removed them. Some had even been falling off on their own in my pants (yes, gross). So.......tah-dah!!!!!! I think it's perfect.........no stiches, just a line that is closed up. No redness or purplish coloring. I am really surprised how well it looks in just 23 days since surgery.

The other stuff you see on my thigh is just the adhesive glue that is stuck on my skin from the original bandages. I have to scrub that off...but it's pretty hard to do.

At the lake!

I made it to the lake with all 4 kiddos. It's nice to be here and the weather is amazing today. We went to Walmart (woo hoo! lol...big excitement around these parts) and walked the entire supercenter! I had an incident in the changing room as I was trying on some shorts (the stretchy, cheap kind that I can wear right now so I am comfy sitting)...and I couldn't get them on. I realized after I'd taken my other pants off....I couldn't reach down to pull on the other shorts! So, the nice lady who worked in the changing room.....offered to help. She had an oxygen tank and had her knee replaced. She was so kind. I don't think I have ever come across someone so nice and willing to help someone they barely knew. It's nice to know there are people left like that! Anyways.......I also got a raised toilet seat for the back house (we have two houses here at the lake and only one commode). I had to cart around a raised toilet seat in Walmart...does it get any lower than that????? LOL.

I just made it back up from the dock to the house and now heading off to get some fresh produce at Four Corners Farm :) I am getting in and out of cars well now and my hip is virtually pain-free.........it's just unstable. My other hip hurts more because of all the strain I have to put on it. I hope I won't have to get that one replaced too :( I am down to 2 darvocet in the morning! I am almost completely drug-free and I barely even noticed since I feel so great. I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

almost at the lake!

We are leaving in 2 days for our lakehouse in Vermont. My parents will be taking care of me and the kids (they have been saints). Dave is coming up to for the weekend and then has to go back home on Sunday to work. I really have been lucky with all my family support at home. They cook, clean, take care of the kids, get groceries......I couldn't ask for more! I kind of feel like a kid again...being taken care of. It's been so long since I'm not the caretaker. While I feel pretty darn good for someone who just had their hip replaced 19 days ago, I still feel vulnerable because I can't lift things and can't walk without my crutches. I still stay home most days just reading, watching movies or going online. It has rained for over a week solid........that does not help me to get out there and walk. My Dad is beside himself with boredom.......he keeps asking "So when do I get to leave?????". LOL.

I took my first 'standing up' shower since my surgery. I had been using a shower stool, but I just never felt completely clean using that thing. It felt great to stand there, but I held onto the shower bar. All very tiring though and my back hurt afterwards.

I heard some sad news today about a musician named Jay Bennett. I didn't know who he was until today because I don't really follow obscure indie music. His story was just sad and it hit close to home. He died while using a painkiller (the patch called fentanyl which was recalled at one point). They are not sure if he OD'd using the recalled patch (or newer version) as the old ones had a tendency to leak into the bloodstream causing breathing problems and even death. He had been petrified of his upcoming total hip replacement (due to his stage antics...jumping around and fell). He was quite depressed about it and wrote it on his Myspace blog. He also didn't have health insurance to cover the operation and had been trying to scrape up the money for it (I do have health insurance....and mine was totally covered). I can't imagine having to worry about finances too! I just for some reason felt really bad for this guy who was just 45 when he passed. It's just scary to think that life can just leave you like that at any time. Part of the reason for my blog is just that..........to help people who are dealing with the depression of hip surgery. It truly can be terrifying and depressing in the years, months and weeks prior to and after the surgery. I know because I've been there and I want to share that everything usually does turn out ok in the end. It's OK to feel anxious and depressed. It's all normal!

feelin' good!

Things are going so well! I feel great..........need less meds and getting ready to head to our lakehouse in Vermont on Friday (June 26th) to finish up my rehabililation with my parents and kids. The worst pain is in the mornings, but once I do take my meds...I feel fine and can walk around (with the crutches still of course)..but more and more I can do things with a little more finesse and confidence.

Mickelson is in 3rd place in the US Open! 5 behind, but hopefully he'll have a hot round today. I've been watching every minute of it since there is really no where for me to go.

World Rhythms with Tony Vacca

New gash update! Steri-strips are getting very dirty.....the middle one is almost ready to fall off. It itches less with each day.....but all the tape glue and hospital antiseptic stains on my skin are still there. I guess they are supposed to eventually wear off.......but ewwwwww. Can you believe how far up the side of my thigh/ass this thing goes??? It's like a freakshow.

Tony performed last night at the "peace night" held by my daughter's favorite teacher of all time, Fred Goldberg. Tony Vacca is a percussionist and performs all over the world...he is AMAZING. I was really taken aback because I did not expect to enjoy my evening so much considering how conservative I am and all this crunchy peace talk makes me shiver. It's not that I don't want world peace...we all do. It's just that we were peaceful until along came the terrorists who don't like us for who we are. There is no peaceful way to deal with that. Ok, I'm starting to go off on one of my pro-Bush rants...with that said, this night was more about helping kids in Kenya learn and create communication between our kids and their kids. It was a very entertaining evening and my daughter's speech (the only kid to get up there and talk) was tearjerking. She told everyone in the room how Mr. Goldberg helped to make her the confident person she is today and taught her how to speak her mind. Conservative or liberal...he taught her to have a voice. I'm feeling pretty good today.....still on meds because of the muscle pain that is up and down my thigh. It takes awhile to train the muscles to work correctly. Going to watch the U.S. Open golf today.....go Mickelson!

update....

With each new day, I feel stronger and more confident I made the right decision to get my new hip. I still rely on crutches and would not be able to walk without them, but I can lift my leg now into bed by myself. I can put both feet up on the coffee table without lifting my operated leg. This is HUGE because when I got home from the hospital, I needed an aid just to move that leg because it was so weak. I can walk up and down my driveway and go upstairs by myself (although I always try to have someone behind me just in case).

Yesterday was my first "outing". My father drove me and Kenzie to her dr. appt. and I was able to get in and out of the car and took the elevator up the office. The nurse made a joke to me......she said..."sorry, we don't have any rooms for geriatric patients". Hahahahahaha. Ok, I admit that was pretty funny and I took it in stride as I know that I will have to endure a life full of jokes like that from now on. I thought it was pretty ballsy of her to make that joke not knowing how I'd react to it though. Good for her for not being politicially correct.........I appreciate a good joke now and again.

Tonight......I am going to a night of "peace" put on by my daughter's former 4th grade teacher. His name is Fred Goldberg and he is the complete opposite of me............liberal, anti-war, sustained living type and long hair (mind you....he's my parents age!). He is straight out of a 1964 peace rally. And yes, he voted for Obama (gasp!)......but I love this man though.........he taught my daughter how to be herself and speak her mind. He taught her to never be afraid to say how you feel and what you think. She entered his classroom a shy, not very confident 4th grader. She left his class with straight A's and her head held high. From that point on, she has been one of the most creative, confident and bright kids I have ever met (and while she's my daughter and I'm a little biased), I will say that most who meet her will tell you the same. She's the star lacrosse player on her team, solo singer for her chorus, in all the school plays all while maintaining her 3.8 grade point average. She's opinionated too.........but what made me so proud of her was that in the face of the majority of teachers and students voting for Obama in her school election, she proudly campaigned and made speeches in support of Senator John McCain. She's my little Republican and she knows her issues....it's not all me telling her what to think.

This is Fred's last year teaching and he is having a celebration of his 30 years of teaching peace through building healthy relationships. He has connected students in several African countries with his own students and he will be traveling to Kenya this summer to help develop literacy and to teach sustainable resuable energy. Does this sound like something I would normally attend??? No way. I just love this man for what he taught my daughter.......a year's worth of life lessons that shaped who she is today. My daughter in fact will be giving her own speech tonight thanking him for everything he did for her. So for today, I will put politics aside to celebrate his good will and all he has done for his students over the years.

Maddie is 12!

I can't believe my oldest daughter is 12. She made this cake totally by herself and even decorated it too with all that fruit. She loves to cook. It was so sweet of her to do because she knew that I can't do it being on crutches and my mother wasn't feeling well. We were going to "buy" her a cake......but she wouldn't hear of that! lol. She basically spent her entire b-day money at the store Delia's in the mall. I guess it's all the rage with the teeny boppers these days.

The other picture is my incision today......the bruising is gone! It is definately starting to fade a bit.

A good day.....

I got to leave the house today! My first ride in the car since my ride home from the hospital 11 days ago. I watched my 7 year old Mitchie play in his last Little League game while I sat in the front seat of my parents car. My father parked in such a way that I could clearly see the field. I'm not quite sure how the town busy body found me...but she did and wanted to know everything. I clearly did not want to be seen, but when you go out in public...you have to be prepared for the worst.

I had PT this morning and she said I'm progressing well. I asked her if I am where I am supposed to be and she said I was. Being that I couldn't walk without crutches even if I wanted to......it seems light years away from getting back to normalcy. She assured me all was on course and it takes time. The visiting nurse came for her last visit today unless something comes up. She checked the incision and told me how to handle my brutal constipation (this is the reality when you are taking opiates). I had to drink magnesium citrate which is like the most tart soda you could ever drink. 1/2 bottle of that and you will be on the pot within 30 minutes......guaranteed! LOL. Being that it was successful in the end......I was so relieved and felt like a new person. Another day.......but I am starting to feel better and I can now really feel the difference.

BOGIE

Isn't he just the cutest ever??!!! How do you say no to that face?

"The Daily Gash"...back by popular demand!

If you are thoroughly grossed out by my daily incisional shots.....it might be wise not to follow my blog. It's hard to see how well it's healed with the steri-strips still attached. They will stay there until they are ready to come off themselves....which can be many weeks. I can see how well the scab is forming though and that is a good thing. I have no redness at the incision and it hurts less each day! I took a shower today on my trusty (I hope) bath stool. It's actually fun to sit and take a shower....I wish I'd thought of this before! It is scary though as I am always thinking I will slip in there. Usually my Mom helps me with this whole operation of getting undressed and getting in and out of the tub shower. I feel like a new woman when I get out! So refreshed. Who knew taking a shower would be so exciting? I am getting cabin fever like you read about. I haven't left the house since I got home last Tuesday. I did walk up and down my brick pathway outside, but it's rained pretty much every day, so I can't go out there if it's wet.

This is how I put my socks and/or anti-blood clotting tights on (not sure of the medical term, but they are basically there to keep the blood from pooling up inside my leg). Now I am officially a granny......sock helper stick and all!!!!! LOL. I cannot wait for all this to be behind me!

frustration setting in....

I don't know what i expected....but I guess I never thought I'd feel so vulnerable. I knew I'd be weak and that I would be limited in what I could do. I am starting to feel kind of depressed and sad right now. My parents are being wonderful......my husband is helping too and so are the kids so I am not alone. I should be thankful that I am doing so well and walking with crutches. However, I can't lift my leg from a laying position straight up. Not even a centimeter. It's the most frustrating feeling......to lose the ability to lift your leg any way you want. I can lift it in other directions, but I still feel so weak. I'm doing my PT twice per day and trying to walk in circles around the house as much as possible. I am impossibly impatient! I am also so cooped up! Get me outta here....LOL.

Our new puppy's name is....

BOGIE. As in Humphrey Bogart (Bogie), not the bogey in golf. He's the best little puppy I ever met . He's added so much light and fun around here. When all of us are wondering what to do (there are quite a few of us around the house lately including my parents, dh and the kids)...we just look at Bogie and he makes us laugh. He doesn't bark....he makes this little squeaky noise. He'll sleep with you (on you) at anytime and he like molds into whatever position you put him in. He pees and poops outside and never whines. He's like the perfect puppy (at least for now!). Now about that GASH........here is the latest in my series of updates. 6-13-09 seems that bruising is becoming more reddish. The actual incision is looking less bloody. Sorry about the stretchmarks.....they are just par for the course...lol.

About the dead hummingbird :( Our cat caught this hummingbird and killed it! How does one actually catch a hummingbird??? Quite amazing I think. That poor little, beautiful and peaceful creature didn't harm anyone and along comes the mean cat and grabs him!

he's here!

Our new puppy is home safe and sound! He's been cuddling with me all morning. A complete sweetheart. He chews on my fingers, but he's gentle and we got him a little hedgehog squeeky toy and a hard plastic chew bone. He seems well-nourished, socialized and happy. He was raised around 3 boys...so he's used to all the kids we have.

Dave hasn't named him yet. He wants to wait until he sees his true personality. I'm one that names something right away....I don't think something should go nameless longer than a few hours. Arrrrghhhhh......I want to name him "River" because of the cool winding stripe on his head or even "Harley" since we just bought one a few months ago.

I woke up with a little numbness in my operated foot. Not sure if that's normal....it went away once I stood up. Feeling a little tired today.

End of Day 6 Post-Op

My daughter took this lovely picture of me......I haven't put on any make-up or a bra since I was in the hospital. Ok, sharing way too much here. Also....a pic of my incision today....the bruise on it is getting darker and yellow. No redness, so looking good at least from a "medical" standpoint...lol. My children are scared of me...I joke you not. My 4 year old hasn't gone near me since he saw me in the hospital!

A New Pup!

Here is our new little guy (no name yet)....he looks like a mini version of our late dog Buddy. We found him today and the owners are shipping him to Manchester, NH from Illinois tonight!!!! It's a definate and I'll have pictures of him here at home with us tomorrow :) I just have to be careful when the puppy is around my feet! He will definately cheer up the place.

As I sadly told you earlier.......our dog Buddy died on Saturday. I firmly believe (and so does Dave) that you need to move on with your life sooner than later. My husband can't live without a dog in his life........he brings them to work with him and they become his best friends. Particularly Buddy. He doesn't want to sit around and grieve, so we've decided to get another Olde English Bulldogge (that is the correct spelling). They are cool dogs......taller than regular bulldogs, wider faces and sometimes longer hair.

My hip on the second day home.........the lines vertical are just a little old brown blood, not staples. I have outer steri strips and inner disolvable sutures. There is a rather large bruise right near my bum. I'll keep posting pics with my progress. My pain has lessened a bit, but it is still difficult to get up and down. Getting up from bed is the hardest part! My parents, kids and husband Dave have all been huge supporters and worry about my needs. I have had to miss some important events that my kids have been in, but they understand. They are, however......mortified by this incision. Maddie told me it looks like it came straight out of a horror movie....LOL. Frankenstein's bride.

I knew coming home wouldn't be easy. Even though I am not doing laundry, watching the kids or making meals........my kids still require attention from me. They all want to lay in my bed which is downstairs and Mitchell even jumped on me by accident and hurt my leg....it twisted a little. Nothing serious....but this is what to expect when you have a house full of kids and family. Once I am able to walk better, I plan to sleep upstairs in my bedroom alone with no one to bother me. I am still getting up 3-4 times per night for some reason. I don't know if it's the meds, the anxiety or just a weird time clock my body has adjusted to with all the cat naps I take.

Surgery Story (long....pics posted below story...kind of gross!)

Dave and I spent the night before my surgery at The Holiday Inn, a stone's throw from the Wang center where I was to have my surgery the next morning at 6:00 am. My daughter gave me her little sock monkey to hold and I clutched it all night, at times rocking back and forth with it. I think Dave was nervous too, but he didn't let on. I woke up on my own at 5:00 am and showered. We left for the surgical center and waited an hour to be called into the back where I would be set-up for surgery and get my lovely shower cap on. This was where I kissed Dave good-bye and started crying. The anesthesiologist held me and consoled me. He told me Dr. Burke was the very best and that he had worked alongside him for 22 years. My IV was put in and I was given a "cocktail" to calm me down. This cocktail was not enough..........I was put onto the operating table compeltely alert, but not freaking out because the drugs began to take the edge off. I was given a very large dose of the meds. I remember stroking the anesthesiologists hand and kept asking Dr. Burke if everything was going well. I also remember asking them to give me my hip bones in a cup after (which they never did by the way......I don't know why I said that because that is the last thing I want to see). They must have cranked up the meds because that is when I fell asleep. I woke up to one of the nurses holding out a group residents picture of Paul Appleton (the one I dated way back when) and they were all talking about how great Paul was to work with (all the docs knew Paul well). If you have read my previous posts, Paul is a trauma orthopedic surgeon at Beth Israel in Boston. He was the one who told me Dr. Burke is the best and to go to him. Paul was my first "love". He is still my next door neighbor at my lakehouse in Vermont and he has 4 kids and a lovely wife too. We speak often at the lakehouse and I'm grateful to have such a caring friend still in my life after all these years.

I remember laughing as they wheeled me out and saying "YEAH!!!! I made it"..........

Then it hit me, I was in the recovery room. That was when I realized I could not feel a thing from my waist to my toes. Not a thing. How scary is that??????? I had spinals with my babies, but this was a true spinal....a 6 hour puppy. I had to wait until I could wiggle my toes to leave that room and go to my real room. That took from 10:30 am to 2:30 pm. I was flailing around because I couldn't move my feet. I didn't believe the nurses. I thought they were all lying to me about my legs and that something must have happened during surgery. Slowly...inch by inch...my sensation did come back and enough to just slightly wiggle my toes. My operated leg took much longer as they had me on my side during surgery. I was wheeled through the cold halls with my warm blankies on :) Up, up, up and way to the 22nd floor to Phillips House. It's affectionately called the Penthouse rooms because it is luxury up there. I thought for sure they had the wrong person....that they were going to come in and say they screwed up and that room wasn't really mine! It had a flat screen plasma TV with Dish Network. It had it's own fridge and vanity. It was a large room with a large couch/futon. Everything was mahogony and real wood floors. I had the most amazing views of the Charles River. You couldn't get this if you asked for it. I shit you not about all that....see my photos below. No one would tell me why I got that room....but I wasn't going to argue. Insurance covers it because they didn't have any doubles left, so the choice wasn't mine. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. You don't slap a gift horse in the mouth (is that the saying?). Anywho..............I was given a PCA which I got to push the button for my meds. I first got dilauded which they all said was stronger than morphine. It didn't touch my pain. So, I asked for morphine and then I slept like a baby. I had no idea where I was and was floating around my room....LOL. Friends called and were actually concerned about me because I slurred every word. This lasted a day and then I was switched to dilauded pills which again did nothing for me. The pain management team came because I was a tough case and they prescribed morphine tablets to go home with. They work great by the way...LOL! I will be weaning off them slowly over the next few weeks.

The food was good........not great. They give you small amounts of lots of things and side dishes. You got the next two meals menus with your breakfast. It's like, "I don't want to think about what I'm eating in 10 hours"! I have to hand it to them though because everything was always hot and served on time. I got a newspaper handed to me every morning. Kuddos. All the nurses were fabulous except one male nurse who gave me the creeps. He was lurking in my room as I lay half naked on my bed at 2:00 am. He was slowing getting the blood pressure cuff out, but he should have been on the other side of my bed and I had no idea how long he'd been there. He then said he needed "blood". That was when I asked him to get the head nurse and she excused him. I told her I preferred "female" nurses....but truth be told....it was this strange man that I didn't want in there who didn't give me warm fuzzies. I felt kind of mean...but when you are laying there vulnerable, you don't need to feel nervous about the people who help you. I think that it's important to speak up and be your own advocate. I had to speak up on numerous occasions about getting my meds on time or getting a wash basin, getting my constant ginger ales, etc. You can't always expect them to do it all or know what you're thinking. I know by the end of my stay....the nurses couldn't wait for that door to hit the backside of my wheelchair....LOL.

Sadly, during my stay.........our wonderful Olde English Bulldogge Buddy died suddenly and unexpectedly. My husband was shattered by this and he is still grieving. It was not the news I needed to hear while lying in bed feeling like shit. Buddy was Dave's best friend and did everything with him. When I say he would've picked the dog over me, he would pick the dog. Ok, maybe not....but darn close to that. I didn't get a lot of visitors as Boston is 1.5 hours away from home. All my relatives live in Jersey. My parents, kids and husband came. Lots of friends called which was nice. You find out who your true family and friends are when you go through something like that.

Well........overall, it was a great experience and I am walking with crutches around my house. I have to sit or lay down most of the time. I have a visiting nurse and OT and PT therapists coming to my house a couple times a week for about a month. For those that have followed my story.....this is how it all went down. For those who are just reading it now, I hope it will help you to know the details of what happens from start to finish. Everyone's story will be different, but this one is mine :) A success story I hope.

Filet 'O Thigh

Right after surgery in my new room........a little morphined up. I think this photo is as nasty as I felt that day.

WARNING GRAPHIC AND GROSS!!!!!!

Sorry......but I just had to post my battle wound. It is over 13 inches long and is sealed with surgical strips, not staples. My doctor chose to NOT have minimally invasive total hip replacement surgery because of my complicated hip....so it's way bigger than I imagined. This is the side view of my left hip while laying in the hospital bed this morning. Yeah, I got to leave the hospital today....June 9, 2009 :) The surgery was a success!

The New Hip Mama!!!!

GORGEOUS flowers sent to me in my room from my best friend Debby McGrath and her mom Mrs. D. True friends for life and like a sister and second Mom to me.

My 36 inch Plasma TV in my very own private Suite at the Phillips House at Mass Gen! I got hooked up at the hospital to say the least :) I think I knew a few people in high places or I won the lottery. Either way, I appreciated the hospitality and the gorgeous room overlooking the Charles River in Boston. I never felt like I was "in" a hospital. I know this is not the norm with surgeries, but I am grateful to Dr. Burke, the nurses Mary, Kristen and Maureen especially. I didn't have to pay extra for it since they said the double rooms were taken.

less than 72 hours................I don't want to think about it. Getting too nervous.

baby teeth...

Maddie (my almost 12 yo) had 4 baby teeth pulled today with laughing gas. She came out of the room all happy and then about 20 minutes later....in tears when the pain finally hit her. It literally took then 3 minutes to do it. I've never had that stuff.....they should always give that to you during dentistry. I don't get why they stopped that routinely.

Well.................4 days (a little less). Thursday night I leave for the hotel with my husband and then the surgery will be on Friday morning at 6:00 am. We decided that a long drive in (80 minutes) would be too long at 4:00 in the morning. You could say I'm just getting anxious....but not freaking out. I'm really surprised at my strength. I thought I'd be getting hot flashes, but I think I am just READY and it's time to get it over with. I won't be able to blog until I get home from the hospital as I don't have a laptop...but knowing me, I'll find a computer somewhere in the hospital.

Gotta make supps for the kiddos........